Friday, February 19, 2010


Why am I weeping?  Why am I both physically and mentally worn out?  And for goodness sake- what IS IT I have to cry about, anyway?!!?

Poor (dumb) psychologist would convince me that I'm "depressed". (Eh. Wrong!)
Poor (dumb) me assumed it was because I was pregnant. (Negative. Phew!).


I just keep weeping.  It's been a while now- maybe a week or two.  Gets worse every day.  And oddly- here's where it gets so crazy-strange:  I have a "new joy" right smack dab in the middle of all this weeping.

I know.  I know.  I'm getting all kinds of psychological analysis right now from whomever is reading this (including MYSELF).

It's true.  I have a new joy.  I'm crying.  I'm an annoying blubbering emotionally ridiculous basket case.  But I have new joy.

I see my girls differently.  I have a NEW kind of love for them.  I have a newer desire to protect them, and defend them, and stand up on a harsher-type of soil JUST to assure myself that I am doing everything I can  to get them on a better path in life than I had.  Sand paper soil.  It really hurts.  A lot.  Not easy.  I'm going against the grain at every turn.

Boo.  Hooo.  HOOO!  Good, Lord what is going on with all this weeping?

Tree's weep.  Right?  Pine trees.  Maple trees.  Oh! And.....  Willows weep.  Yes they do.

Why?  What is the physiological reasoning behind a tree weeping?!?!
I can't find the answer on Google.  Do they make Encyclopedia's anymore?   Wait!  Wait a minute!  I just remembered we have a book about trees.  (Somewhere........?)   Benefit of home schooling;  Lots of books.  Down side home schooling super young scholars? Nothing has a place, there is a place for nothing!

 I'll come back to this post once I get my hands on that "tree book".

Now....sniffle-sniffle....where did I put that box of Kleenex?

*** This little poem just randomly FLEW into my head. Whatever.  I thought I'd type it out and play around with it another day***  (Don't judge my juvenile ditty.)

There must be a reason.  
I'll find it soon.  
Today, however....
I'm simply confused.

I have no answers.  
Yet no important question to raise.  
It seems I am  just fine.......
On most days.

A new joy attained
In the midst of my weeping
Is it possible to have both.....?
The Truth I'll be seeking

The truth; or
The Truth?

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