Sunday, September 13, 2009

I do want to......

Praise You in the Storm..... Lord- I do want to! Really..... realllllllllllly want to just 'raise my hands and praise the God who gives- and takes away'

But I don't know how to do it this time. I don't know how NOT to call out to Jesus- IN FRUSTRATION! "Lord- you were sappose to have taken care of this." "Lord! I feel like you've left me- abandoned me."

I'm sick- SICK of Christians not being transparent. I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one amidst a storm. THE STORM! I know I'm not. Good grief, people. Suck IT UP! You're not perfect- your life isn't awesomeness ALLLLL the stinkin time. It's hard. Life. Is. Hard.

That "Life is Good" crap? Annoying. Oh- Sure. There are times, that life is truly goooood! Real good. But in reality- Life is Hard. That's what's real. Stick THAT on a t-shirt!

And here's the awesome thing I've learned (the hard way) about transparency. You don't have to be like--- all up in your face transparent. As in- here's all by 'bid-ness' layed out for you to pick apart.

But transparent as in- THIS SUCKS! It sucks. Sucks. SUCKS! (ya. I said "SUCKS!") Cause it does. I'm sick of the rain. The thunder. The lighning. THE ELECTROCUTION. Teee-RD of it. (redeck Teeerd of it!) It's 'whack'. It's 'lame'. I'm 'over it'. I hate it.

I hate the storm.... while I'm in it. I tend to HATE the person that is the cause of my storm. I tend to absolutely DETEST the human being that is the center of that freakin' whirl-wind chaos.

But I don't want to. And I don't need to.

So- here's some naked-ness for you.

Marriage is the hardest freakin' thing. Add in a few kids- various strong holds, and... BAM! Emeril ain't got NOTHIN' on you. Or me. BAM. POW. Ka-Plooo-EEE! EXPLOSION!

It's hard. I don't care who you are- whoever is reading this random blog. I don't care what you think about me- my family- or what-EVER! Life is Hard! I want to Praise my GOD in the storm. But mostly- I end up lifting up my praise after it's blown over. That's what's real for me. Maybe- just maybe- I'll be awesome enough to be all WHOO HOOO during the chaos. But right now? I am NOT awesome. Not. At. ALL!!!!

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