Today- I was plagued with a monstrous headache. I mean- it was long lasting- exhausting- painful- just plain ol' BAD headache!
At the YMCA is where it initially started. The girls' are doing "Homeschool P.E." and I was trying to get in some work out time. Nope. I couldn't do it. It was a sweet (So Sweet) blessing to get to LAY DOWN outside the pool area there, in the bright sunshine, and take a short nap- in an effort to get the pain to at least dwindle down to bearable.
I put in my ear buds- had nice queue of quiet worship playing, and felt rested when I went back inside to get the girls out of their "class". And God allowed my headache to sufficiently dwindle down so that I could, in fact, bear the pain.
I made an attempt at a caffeine remedy via Starbucks on the way home, but it didn't actually help at all. All 3 of my amazingly awesome girls took a nap once we got home.... and after about 30 minutes of their napping, I caved and decided to go up to my bed for another rest. (P.S. I also took tylenol- no help)
JUST as I was making my way up the stairs, I saw the curly curls of a certain 4 year old at the top of our 1970's green paisley carpeted stairwell. "HEY MOMMY!!!! Can i come downstairs now??!!!"
"Oh.... hey Zoe-Zoe....... Hmmm??. You know what!?!? Will you come lay down in my bed with me for juuuust a few minutes? Mommy's head hurts really bad- so I should take a little rest." (Mommy and Daddy's bed is typically OFF limits. Joshua has made it a rule- no kids in the bed- so it's a very rare instance that either of us would invite them to lay down with us)
"OH SURE, Mommy!!! I'll come lay down with you" (I wish you all could hear the spunk and joy in our Zoe's voice.)
I layed down on 'Daddy's' side of the bed, and she did a hoppity plop onto my side of the bed. She lays down.... for about 3 seconds. And hops right back up- and looks over at me with huge, inquisitive sparkly blue eyes.
"Mommy? Your head hurts really bad?"
"Ya, Zoe. It hurts really bad. I just need to lay down and be very quiet for a little tiny bit"
"Okay.... Don't give your headache to ME Mommy! Ok?!?" (genuine joy poured out with those words)
A few seconds later:
"Does your head still hurt?"
"Yeah. It does."
"Awwwww. Ok Mommy (insert VERY excited voice) I'll PRAY FOR YOU!!!! 'Dear Jesus please help mommy's head not hurt-amen'. Does it still hurt, Mommy?" (and she lays her sweet hand on my head)
At this point, I'm faced with somewhat of a dilema. My head DOES still hurt. In fact, it hurts terribly! BUT- I've just been prayed for by the enormous faith of a little child! I know that my head will quit hurting soon- so my answer was this:
"Yeah, Zoe. My head hurts right now- but you just prayed for it to NOT hurt, so I'm going to lay here very patiently, and very quietly and wait for it to quit hurting. It will quit hurting. I just have to be patient."
In a loud whisper, she says "Ok Mommy...... We'll be patient!"
I offered her a sincere Thank You for praying for me. And she layed her little hand on my head again and gave me a "you're welcome" in return.
She continued to hop and plop and bounce and talk while I layed there. Patiently. As quiet as I could be. As still as one could get with a lively 4 year old laying beside them.
I asked Zoe to sing me a song about Jesus while we waited. (No. I'm not that "super spiritual"- I was selfishly trying to get her to stop asking me questions and to stop bouncing so I could rest)
And so she asked!....... "Is the ABC song about Jesus?" (no? not really) "Is Twinkle Little Star about Jesus? (um? kind of.) "OH! I KNOW! JESUS LOVES ME! Is that about Jesus?" (yes. it is... and I couldn't help it- I started giggling. She is so innocent. So genuine.)
"OK. GOOD! I'll sing THAT song."
But she didn't sing the traditional "Jesus Loves Me This I Know...."
She sang "Jesus Loves Me. He loves me. He loves you. Jesus loves me. He's so strong. He's so goooooood."
(not at all to the tune of the traditional song, either. it was to the tune of "Zoe's voice"- the sweet happy joyful playful jubilant tune of Zoe)
While she was singing, I was praying "God. Please let me remember everything she's singing- so I can write it down. Please don't let me forget. Please let me remember this time I get with Zoe"
After her song- she jumped on and off the bed in search of books to 'read' to me. I dozed a little. And she bounced back on the bed- put her little hand on my head (again) and said "HEY! Your headache is gone. I just felt it. It's gone."
She waited. Patiently. For my headache to be gone. And she was just as, if not more, excited as I was when it had no longer held me down.
And here's what I got out of that time with Zoe.
A) God will heal us. We just have to wait. Patiently. Quietly. We have to wait. We may not be 'healed' in the way WE thought we'd be healed. But we will ,indeed- be healed.
B) As frustrating and seriously painful as that headache was- as certain as I am that Satan had an agenda for that headache- GOD turned it into a beautiful, priceless time spent with Zoe- I'll endure many more headaches and more and more pain if need be to gain that quality time with all of my girls. I don't want to HAVE TO endure the pain- but I will.
There's no way to explain how important it is for me to stop and be still long enough to savor the years of my daughters' youth.
Kyla- The Lord layed out some awesome conviction today where my incredible 6 year old is concerned. I'll have to fill in the blanks at a later time- but as a reminder to myself- it has to do with an evening out with a friend to listen to Christine Cain teach tonight at Free Chapel. To her daughter she spoke "You are beautiful and intellegent. You are the head, and not the tail. You are a leader and not a follower. You are above and not beneath........" That's my conviction. To speak life into my daughters'! Why haven't I been doing that all along!!?!
Leah- She is a cuddle-bug through and through- and she's been missing out on cuddles and lovin' time with her Mommy. Her behavior reflects that she, too, is missing out on quality time that she needs and deserves. Why oh why have I been BLIND to the needs and desires of my girls'? Or was it not that I was blind, but very, very selfish with my time? Probably the latter. I am so selfish where time management is concerned, especially!
And Zoe.... I'm so thankful that today was a Zoe day. Zoe. The Life of God. The prayers of a little child- certainly heard, and beautifully delivered. Thank you Jesus!