Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Think I Saw Two Falling Stars....

A pastor on the radio was preaching about the will of God in our life.  He gave an example, from his life:  First, he gave a practical, biblical aspect.  Peace- having peace about the decision (to be made).

He talked about being a senior in college- and there was a decision to be made.  He said he felt uncertain- just totally lost.  Out of desperation he cried out to God and said "Lord, if this is Your will for my life, I want you to show me to falling stars."   He knew it was a silly request.  He was desperate.  Over the weekend he went to several friends and prayed with his friends.  At the end of the weekend, he and a buddy were walking home from dinner, and his friend said "Look how beautiful it is tonight" as he looked up a the night sky.  This pastor, too, looked up at the night sky, and in the moment, he saw two falling stars (meteors).  In the moment, he thought nothing of it- but when he went back to his dorm room, God spoke to him "What did I show you tonight?"  and this pastor said "It's not really a big deal- people see these sort of things all the time."  And God corrected him "It's true.  They do.  But YOU asked me for it!"

I have been praying- I have been lost, and confused regarding our decision to home school our girls.  The adventure we've been on so far has been exhausting and I have had NO PEACE.

Tonight- I believe I saw "two falling stars".  I met with a friend, and fellow home school mom.  She had a plan for next year that looked gorgeous on paper, and in our minds.  I now have something specific to pray about. I now have something to focus on as a goal to work toward.  Before- eh.... before I had no idea what we would try to work toward.  It was so generalized, and out of focus.  Homeschool wasn't even an option anymore.  Our options at this point (for next year) had only to do with regular school.  Public or Private.  That was it.  Private school was only an option if we only ate once a day and gave up any and all extracurricular activities (like- the gym and buying new clothes).  Public School  was the very last ditch option- the one we'd choose if we couldn't pinch our pennies tight enough to pay for private school.  

I finally have an option that I feel PEACE about.  It's not set in stone.  It's not a reality.  It's an option.  It's two falling stars that have confirmed God's will in educating our daughters.  It's home school.  I know that it is.  And it's a bit of a sting.  I know what's ahead KNOWING that God's will is home schooling.  I'm a little scared.  There is a lot of fear with understanding that THIS is what God wants our family to do- because there is quite a bit of sacrifice.  But I know that ANY sacrifice God ask of us will be worth it.

And as I'm about to bust open the flood gates, and pour out my tears on my laptop- I'll leave this post with one of the most powerful songs I have ever heard!

Because I know- with all of my everything- that IT WILL BE WORTH IT!

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