Thursday, December 10, 2009

Worry Not....

Every morning, at o'dark thirty.... sometime in between 5:00 and 6:00 AM, my husband comes into our room to tell me goodbye. Some of the time, he lays down beside me and snuggles with me for a few minutes, or he'll sit on the side of the bed, patiently amused while I try to wake up enough to mutter "Hey sweetie.....bye....... honey...... I love you.......mmmm.... Be........ careful."

A sinking, sad feeling usually rises up when I hear the front door close. I start praying that he'll be safe... that God will keep His hand on him, and supernaturally protect him. I try not to worry, but it's so hard not to think about the numerous unsafe circumstances he will be in, or could get in.

Aside from the fact that my husband's drive into "the office" is unsafe due to bald tires and windy mountain roads- he also makes his way from 'the office' to the big city of Atlanta via Ga. 400 at 7:00 AM, and 5:00 PM..... it's like russian roulette- you're either going to make it home with out a wreck, or you're NOT. (He has had several- SEVERAL- fender benders in the past few months. "The Other Guy" runs into his (massive) truck, he sees no damage, and worries not about the technical need for the 911 call.)

Once in the designated area for work- whether it be a residential house in the luxury of a gated community or a commercial building in the depth of the Atlanta "Hood", the real danger becomes present.

He runs up and down ladders carrying heavy material on his shoulder. He walks, crawls, and sits on roofs rising from a simple 1 story flat roof to a terribly steep 3 story, and UP.

Once- he fell OFF a roof straight onto his back, and recently- his helper fell from a 2 story roof. Neither were hurt (badly)- but it makes it clear that this career that my husband is in, it is NOT safe at ALL.

I have found myself in a panic here and there- after a long 'discussion' the night before, and poor use of my vocabulary (saying words I didn't mean)- and having too much pride to apologize before he went off to work the following morning. "What if something happens to him? I didn't tell him I loved him. I didn't hug him.....What if will I do if I don't have him here to take care of us?"

I try not to worry so much- and usually- I can contain it.

But- the other day-one of the things I had feared the most occurred. On the way into work, on a windy mountain road, with wet pavement and a dark sky, he had a front tire blow out. My husband was driving our old truck, "Blue". A a '77 Ford 4wd, 4-speed that needs so much work- including a new steering mechanism. (No power steering, and a LOT of 'give' in the steering wheel.)

What a terrible situation. OH!!!! It's dark. It's rainy. It's DAHLONEGA- the town that recently found itself minus one "Good Samaritan".  (a citizen had had stopped to help a motorist, and was hit by a car)

But the Lord had His hand on my man.  It could have been terrible.  The FRONT tire of a big, blue truck with  terrible steering blows... in the RAIN.... in the dark.... IN THE MOUNTAINs of Dahlonega.  

"Worry Not my child.  I will take care of you.  I will provide for you.  I will protect you."   -God

He was talking to me.  Not Joshua.  Taking care of me equals taking care of my husband.  Protecting me means protecting my husband.

Joshua did not wreck.  He moved over to the side of the road- where there 'just happened' to be a little 'side road' for him to park Blue on.  Out of the way of the crazy drivers.  Out of the way.  Safe.

Thanks, Lord.  You love me sooo much.

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