Do It Anyway... I know.

Just as I opened up my blogger page.....  as if it was queued on purpose (thanks, God) Ceili Rain started singing "Do It Anyway"......   "Your scared to color outside the border.... oh... do it anyway!   Your scared if you say 'that', people'll laugh at you.... oh... do it anyway.   Your scared of what I say because it might be true.... OH! Do it Anyway!"

"Your scared to let your friends depend on you.... do it anyway.  You might surprise the both of you and come through..... COME ON NOW... do it anyway!!  Do it anyway!  Do it anyway!  Do. It. ANYWAY!"

There's an unraveling of truth happening right now.  And, LORD, I am so thankful that I 'did it anyway' when God told me to 'say that' regardless of who might laugh at me.  That I wasn't too scared of what I said, because it might be true.  No. Not what "I" said.  Not my words; just my voice.  God used my voice, and I can't actually comprehend how it is that my voice is what matters; but God used me.  I 'did it anyway'.

But here's the downside.  He told me to 'do it anyway' a long time ago.  He told me to say "WHATEVER it is your doing.... STOP!  Just stop."   Nothing more.  Nothing less.  Just "STOP".

Those words have rung in my ears for a long... long.... LONG time.  I never spoke them to who I was meant to speak them to.  I was afraid I'd get laughed at.  I didn't KNOW what was 'to be' stopped.  I couldn't offer any clarification, so I stalled.  I froze.  I didn't 'do it anyway'.  I wish I had.  I can't say it would have changed anything.  But it would have meant that I obeyed.  That's all that really matters.  And I feel sad, and convicted, yet ELATED, and overwhelmed.

GOD!!!  Wow.  WOW.  Why would you use me????  He chose me to speak up, speak out, make declarations, and amazingly, to PROPHESY(!?!?!?!).

I understood in all of it's fullness what God has intended for the gifts He's given me, and in the same realization, I realized I was FAILING (miserably).  He wants to use me.  HE WANTS TO USE ME?????!!!!  Yep.  He does.  For real.  Even in my short-comings, He's telling me "Do. IT. Anyway!"