I don't got no time to worry about all that........
I recently spoke to a someone that didn't know me very well. The person was doing a sort of "evaluation" with me, and I didn't want him to think he needed to pour out a few eggshells to walk on during the discussion. I stopped him and said:
"Just know.... there is nothing that you should feel the need to sugar coat. I am perfectly fine, actually- I prefer, Blunt Honesty. Ok.... Go ahead.... I just wanted to make sure you knew that...."
He was appreciative for the clarification, though he admitted- (in a super eloquent way) that he didn't need my permission to be honest and straight forward. He'd be bold either way. In that- an immediate respect formed for this person.
Honesty. Whether you like it or not.....
What is there NOT to respect about that??
A latter conversation with the other person that was in the room led me to realize why it is that
"I don't got no time for all that sugar-coated-beat-bushing nonsense".She said to me: "It's cause your a busy MOM! You want to get to the point and move on."
Ahhhh. What a profound perspective.
And this leads me to the point of this blog.
I don't have time to make my life look perfectly sweet. I don't have time to think carefully and studiously as I write (though there are times I do). I write. I type. I pour my (true)self onto these blog pages.
I write for myself. It's therapy. I paint pictures of the reality that is "my life".
I'm writing all of this out for the part of me that feels "inferior" when I read bloggers post about the
SWEET- FUN-AMAZING- CREATIVE
lives they live.
For the part of me that feels a little like:
Brittany Spears with a Shaved Head when she Went Way off the Deep End
when I compare myself to
the Sunshiney Oh Happy Day Life is Perfectly Perfect
Blog. Mom. World.
I compare myself when I'm reading the dashboard post.
Wait? I don't know how to make my blogger page pretty......
Wait? I need to invest in a way-out-of-my-price-range camera so I can put pretty pictures up
Wait? Why don't I think of creative fun things to do with my kids......
And on, and on, and on..........
So. Tired. Of. Comparing. Myself.
I'm me. I can't and won't conform. It's a totally foreign concept to the person God made me.
The person God made me laughs at the person I sometimes think I'm s'pose to be:
Conform? What? No....... Seriously.... Wait? Are you really asking me that?
To change WHO I am and WHAT I do, and HOW I live....
Just. To. Please. Your. Inner. Self. Consciousness?
Bahhhhh HAhhhhh Hah!!! Ya. Right.
I DON'T GOT NO TIME FOR THAT.