Saturday, November 20, 2010

Solo. Tasting the Fruit of Stillness.

Usually- it's beyond rare for me to have the house to myself.  Typically- to get my "solo" time, I do a weirdo maneuver and rent myself a sweet hotel (via Priceline's crazy cheap-ness) for a weekend.  Rare occurance in an of it's self for that to happen.  And then when I do, I totally veg out watching lame-o TV shows, and exploring whichever town Priceline had available to me for $35 and a 3 1/2 star hotel room.


I was s'pose to take today and make it a "clean it all up" day.  The house should be sparkling by now.
 I did as much as I could do, and then I bailed.  I've been sick for a few days, so I just chilled.
 'Cause it was an option.

In the 5 hours of solo time I had here at home, the fact that I didn't have to  listen out for anybody calling my name meant that my earbuds stayed in my ears, plugged into my iPhone, for the whole entire time.  I can't listen to music on 'low'.  So the volume was turned up.  Just the way  I like it.
Huh?  What'd you say?  Ya.  That's what I'm gonna be saying for a few days.
Hoping I didn't do any permanent damage.  I need "special" noise canceling ear phone thingy's so that I'm not deaf in a few years.

I've said it and said it, and I can't say it enough-

"Blogging is my therapy!"  

There are times that I emotionally write 'cause I don't know how to get 'out' what I'm feeling.  I don't know how to express what's going on when I get all jumbled up.  So- I write it out, and in the coolest way, God just speaks to me, and ministers to me as I type.  Like? I'm typing it, but He's telling it to me.  It's "for me" but it's "by me".

 And I get all weepy and moved, and it's absolutely incredible.  There are times I write- and it's pure and unfiltered emotion, and nobody needs to be reading all that, so I draft it- or delete it, or whatever

There are times I write, and it flows so quickly out of me, and then I "reread" it, and I'm like
"Whoa!  I just wrote that?!?!"  

Ok.  So that's what happened in the previous blog.  I had these "thoughts" and I couldn't process what was going on in my head.  I had the opportunity, so I grabbed it up, and I began writing.  20 minutes later, I'm rereading what I had just written, and I'm blown away.

I just said to myself
 "Um? Did you just get ministered to... by your own blog??"

Yup.  I did.

And that's how I know it's not me that does this writing thing.  It's the Lord.
Ok.  Sometimes, it's me babbling.  Sometimes I'm talking about stuff that really affects me, or interest me, or whatever.   But if you read any of these and you're like "HOLY MOLY that was so awesome" that's when you know (and I know) it was totally the Lord using my fingers to do the typing as He was speaking straight to my heart.

And the fact that the Lord just used me to minister to me.  So weird.  And Delicious!
I got still for a little bit- and He was like "OPPORTUNITY!"  And He totally used that time to speak to me.

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