If this is what it takes to get my attention back to You- You have it. I'm paying attention now.
Like a parent disciplining their child in an effort to instruct them in The Way that they should go; that is what You are doing in me.
James instructed us to count it a JOY to encounter these struggles. And I am. I wouldn't have chosen them; these struggles. And I first, I was so angry. "Why would you let this happen!??!" Having children has allowed me to get a better comprehension of who You are, as my Father. When I tell my daughter "I am not choosing to punish you. You have chosen to disobey, which has led to your punishment", I have an understanding that You are saying the same thing to me....
I should have never taken my eyes off of You. I should have chosen obedience.
You gave me sweet, tender reminders to come back.
So gently You called my name. But I dismissed You. I put You aside.
I convinced myself that I would come back to You later.....
and still You pursued me, though I ignored You.
I ignored Your insistence that I set aside a time to be with You. I chose me.
I ignored Your reminders to open my Word. I chose other things.
I ignored You time and time again.....
And I drifted further and further from You.
Thank You for telling me that I'm Worthy. Thank You for loving me enough to discipline me. Thank You for pursuing me.
10 months ago