First of all, I'll make a major confession. I struggle with ANGER. Terribly. I have the "foot in mouth disease". I say things that I shouldn't even have thought, out of anger! And what I'm realizing tonight is that when God has intended to use my PASSION for HIS GLORY, Satan is trying to stick his hand in it, - he sees this bubbling passion in me, and works his demons over time to turn a mighty passion into a massive anger issue.
Well. Ha! Ha! Satan. This time you lose!!! In. Your. Face!
See, I'm angry right now. Whew! I am FIRED UP! But there is no sin associated with it.
Kari Jobe has this amazing cd out. I love it. It's an amazing worship album. One of the songs on the disc, "HEALER", has been creating an awe with in my spirit. Tonight, I was looking around on Youtube for Kari Jobe stuff, and came across an interview about Mike Guglielmucci. I had no clue who this guy was. No clue that he wrote this song. Didn't even know he was with Hillsong. Surely didn't know that he had a 'story'.
This guys story is crazy. The spark of my anger.
He created a lie, saying that he was battling cancer (for 2 years), and said that he wrote "Healer" in regard to his battle with cancer. So, he makes a confession, after all that time, after touring with Hillsong, and selling mucho albums, to all of the world, (including his mom, dad, and his wife who had NO CLUE). He never had cancer. Ever. He made it all up. He lied about doctor's appointments. Treatments. All of it. He lived a lie for over 2 years. This Christian pastor. Worship Leader. Song writer. He habitually lied to EVERYONE!!!
In actuallity, Mike's 'disease' was not cancer. It was addiction. He battled a terrible addiction to adult pornography. And this addiction, (this disease), is what I believe inspired the powerfully annointed song that he wrote.
Am I mad at Mike for lying? NO!!!!! No. No. No.
I am angry that Christians have to disguise their struggles because they are too ashamed to confess their sins and lean on one another.
I am angry that an annointed team (Hillsong), an annointed song (Healer) and an annointed man (Mike) are all put on the cross to be crucified and mocked and beaten because of the fear that was surrounded by this man's guilt and shame.
Fellow believers, the same people that genulinely believe that Jesus took those nails, and that shame, the beating, and then DIED for our sins, those people are trying to nail a man back on the cross.
I want to shout out:
"Occupied! The Cross is Occupied. There is no room! Jesus filled it up. Stop trying to nail more people to it. "
Mike did suffer from a disease. It wasn't cancer. It was addiction. He was crying out....
"I believe You're my healer! I believe You are all I need! I believe You're my portion. I believe You're more than enough for me. Jesus You're all I need."
My heart hurts so painfully for him. He confessed even though he didn't have to. He put the truth to rest, in obedience to The Lord. He could have kept it to himself, and lived the rest of his life knowing he lied. He chose Truth. And he's being condemned for it.
As Christians, can you relate? We choose Truth. We choose God. We are condemned for it. Why would we make the choice condemn anyone else?
What a heart ache.
10 months ago