Random Rants. Eeek!

I am not too keen with the whole "I'm gonna use the internet to complain" sort of thing. Don't make us read all your 'whines'- not allll the time, anyway. Only on special occassions, please.

This blog- it will be my 'special occassion'. ENJOY!!

Facebook is the 'comic relief', rant and rave, but in a sort of lethargic not so 'complainly' way that I have found to be my outlet.... (as previously stated- YES- I'm in detox mode.)

If I allowed myself to get on facebook- I'd post something light-hearted, but real, about a typical day of "Mommy World".

Here's an example:

Kyla has been 'helping' me all day- laundry, washing the table- she even walked into our room, and "spread our bed" (it's her adorable way of saying she 'makes the bed'. When I found her in our room, she said "Mommy- I'm spreading your bed for you- so that when you get in bed, you won't be like "Ugh. I have to spread this bed.'' See? It's already done for you.'' (so sweet. wow. I just love how amazing this girl is)

Zoe has been the 'mean' sister, and I've had to correct her behavior... alllll day.....(last week- she was the AMAZING sister that helped Leah find her shoes, and Kyla clean their room)

Leah made a poopie that stinked up the whole house.... ALLLL DAY!!!

I'm frustrated!! Like- UGH! Totally getting irritated- because my house smells like CRAP, and my sweet 4 year old is being MEAN!!!

All of this is in addition to the mounds-eh- mountains of laundry piled all over our house- and the storage containers here and there from our 'transistion' into winter from summer. I said winter, from summer- cause like- a few weeks ago- it was HOT- and now... it's freakin COLD!! Anyway-

I would take a break. Step 'outside' the crazy house, and 'into' the social world of Facebook... I would put, as my 'status', based on the above paragraph;

"" Kyla is making "Mommy World'' so sweet today. I wonder if it'd be possible to bottle her sweetness- spray it all around our house- and cover up the 'Leah, Eau Deu Toilet?""

I can't post it- I'll blog it. It's fair (for now). I need to get back on track here. I have some ranting to do. I'm not kidding you- if you're a guy... STOP READING. STOP.

Don't read this if you're a dude.

If you're from the male species- STOP READING.

I'm on my period. (Guys? I warned you!)

• I'm on my period, and I'm bloated. Swollen. Painfully BLOATED. It's just UNCOMFORTABLE. To make it worse- I told myself I could eat Oreos, to make me feel better. Now? I'm bloated- have a headache, and a sugar overload. My belly is HUGE(er) than normal, because of all the bloating.... and OREOS!

• I had the worst- and I mean, like WORST stomache bug over the weekend. It was Baaaaddd! FYI- I didn't puke. It was NOT the puke kind of stomach bug. It was 'the other' kind. So- I'm trying to rehydrate- and it's NOT easy... you know, with all the bloating.

• I have the harriest legs ever right now. I need more wax and cloth strips, so I can't wax. A razor is no where to be found! It's just GROSS!! I hate having harry legs. Seriously. My leg hairs grow so fast. Even after I wax- it's like a week later that I gotta do it again.

• I'm 28 years old, and I have a half-a-head of gray hair! Dark, blackish brownish hair, and GRAY hair. Salt 'n Peppa. Blah blah blah. More maintenance. Dye my hair, wax my legs, drink gallons of water, pluck the chin hairs.... oh wait? I hadn't gotten to that part yet, have I?

• I HAVE CHIN HAIRS!!!!! I can't believe I'm admitting this for the world to read- but you know what? I really wanna know if I'm the ONLY one with the 'random' wild hair that grows on a 'random' place on my FACE! Isn't it just odd? Why does this happen? Seriously? And I obsess about it, too. I do a 'check' every day- EVERY DAY- because, ohhhh.... what if- by chance- I didn't happen to notice it- and it GREW. I'd be horrified!

I have more random rants. Here they are- in no particular order:

• LOL!!! That phrase- when written out- is just ANNOYING. Ok- if in communication in chat- fine- but- in an email or other form of communication? I don't know- there are just times it just IRKS me to read 'LOL'!! "I'm going to the bank today. LOL" "I have a new dog...LOL" (sorry if you use this phrase often- I mean you no offense... LOL

I'm stopping. I'm not giving any more rants. I don't want to be negative.

Here are some thanks in their place:

My husband built a fire. It's cozy and warm in our house. Love it!

The car broke down today (nope- it's not a rant, just wait). We now have 3 vehicles in our yard that we are not 'driving' (2 of them are hobby vehicles). My neighbors can't call the cops on us again (for the 3rd time) because every time they have called (because we had 'junk cars' in our 'yard') our vehicles have checked out, basically showing the cops that they aren't 'junk'. HA! HA! HA!! That makes me happy-happy-happy. Ok. That wasn't very nice. But STILL!!! Who needs a babysitter for your 'house'. We have no covenants or by-laws, or whatever! Our neighbors are just MEAN to us (and other families in 'da hood').

I'm not going to go back and edit this- even though I wanna take stuff out. This is pure rawness of me + PMS. So THERE!