God is so sweet, to give us the gift of music. He is so sweet to bless us with faithful artist that have chosen to use their talents to sing His praises! I thank God for the musicians, and producers, and radio Dj's..... the creators of MP3 players, Internet downloads, etc. etc. etc. It's NOT just the singer.... it's the entire package that I am sending my gratitude to.
Last night- in my raging sea of thoughts- I turned to a certain source of 'calm'. My Bible? Nah. I wish I could erase my chaotic thoughts and focus on the written word. I turned to my CD player. I turned to Kari Jobe. I turned, in all actuality, to the "Sung Word". A beautiful melody, an extraordinary voice- a compilation of awesomeness.
I layed in bed, focusing ONLY on words that sung;
"Come and find peace... everyone needs a little rest.... everyone needs a little joy, and a song to sing, even in the darkest night... " "Life- even when it gets you down, Hope- will turn it all around, and Love- it's the greatest of these... Everyone needs a little.......Love"
I randomly found that if I took my focus off the music, my brain would begin feeling overwhelmed and exhausted all over again... then I would turn back to the music and hear that God had started singing a ' new word ' to my heart
"You lay me down to rest.... upon your faithfulness......'' Ahhh... REST! And rest- I would return to. Rest.
I continued to lay still, trying to push painful memories, fears, anger, and bitterness out- and allow The Word to come in. I journaled. I got my little notebook- and wrote, and wrote... and WROTE until my hand ached. I say- "I journaled", but it was more of a written prayer. It was every single thought that entered my head, written out to The Lord.
"GOD! Why do we keep going in circles? Can't we be finished with the struggle?"
"Oh, Lord.... Please. PLEASE. Fix me. Fix me. FIX ME. I want to be made new."
"Why won't the Devil leave me alone??!!?! Why don't YOU make him leave me alone. You can!!! Why don't You?!?! Why do we have to continue in our suffering???"
and then, through Kari's melody- God spoke:
Here... before your alter-I am letting go of all I've held
Of every motive. Every burden. Every thing that's in my self
And I just wanna wait on YOU my GOD
I just wanna dwell in who You are.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I am lost for more to say....
Here. In your presence. I am not afraid of brokeness......
I just want to wait on You my God.
I just want to dwell... on who You are!
"Holy....... Holy........ Holy......Holy. You are, You are!!!!"
(Beautiful)
There was power in these words. So simple. So very simple. What simple words they are. Reading them, alone, has no justice to their power when sung. The power that came out of the musical anointing, and the power that came from the vocal tone in the gift that God gave this artist....
God spoke. It was clear. Just. So. CLEAR! "I'm Holy. I Am. I am Holy."
Are you asking how it's possible to hear an answer to my "WHY!!!???" through the words "I'm Holy." ?
God is so tender. He's gentle. He said "It's because I am Holy. I am all knowing. I AM. Trust Me. I'm Holy. Trust Me. I'm worthy. Trust Me. I AM."
Song Number 7- God works in numbers. Oh Wow. How amazing to discover this wondrous knowledge. 7- it is the number of PERFECTION. The number seven symbolizes God's perfection, His sovereignty and holiness.
And this blog- it reflects HIS holiness. HE has been singing over me....!!!!!!
And Kari sings---- oh HOW relevant when she says:
When I waited so long.
When my tears were my song.
With my hope nearly gone... You help me God!
To believe in the face
of the dry weary place,
when you felt far away...
you held me God.
"Oh. Oh. Oh. There is Freedom in Surrender!!!!! Oh. OH. Oh. I know it.....
You're Songs have never Stopped... You've been singing... Always singing over me!
Your Words are Still enough.... When You're singing .......!!! Always Singing OVER me!
The chaos in the cause
Teaching me, to see Lord
The beauty... in the storm, so I believe!
When I see through your eyes, there's the testing... of time
Every cloud, silver line, cause You're with me...
Oh. Oh. Oh. There is Freedom in Surrender!!!!! Oh. OH. Oh. I know it.....
Your Songs have never Stopped... You've been singing... Always singing over me!
Your Words are Still enough.... When You're singing .......
"Give me FAITH...... Give me strength enough to WAIT!!!!.....
Stand in FAITH!!!!!! And listen for- listen for..... Your MELODY....
Your songs have NEVER stopped....
Your songs are NEVER stopped....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your songs are NEV Er stopped- you've been singing- you've been singing over me!
Your words are STILL ENOUGH, when You're singing over me.... Always singing over me..... "
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And God broke me. He broke me. He stood in front of me- through that CD Player- through that CD- through that song.... through that artist....and He broke me away from my PITY ParTY.
He was loud and clear: "I'm enough, Amber."
No. Not "I've had enough- get your act together...."
"I'm enough. I'm all you need to get through this. I have a purpose. I have a plan. I'm enough!"
He's enough. He IS enough.
".......You are the light to the darkness around me. You are the HOPE to the hopeless and broken. You are THE ONLY TRUTH and the Way."
Don't tell me- EVER- that The Word has no power. I know- I should get in my Bible, and read and read...... but I struggle to focus and receive where The Written Word is concerned.
I'm an "audio/visual'' learner and receiver. And God knows it! I have books, upon books, upon books..... most unread. I have cd's, upon cd's, upon cd's... most of them WORN OUT!
He is the PROVIDER of our needs!!! He will make provisions before we even KNEW we had a need.
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