Friday, December 3, 2010

Convictions and Controversy (Part 2)

Before our first child was born, we decided firmly on these 2 things: 

A. Our child will NEVER go to public school.
B. We will ALWAYS keep our kids in church.


Never say never, my friend.  

Our daughters are prospering in their little kindergarten and second grade classrooms, in this very moment, as I type out this blog.  We worked so hard, and tried and tried to make it possible to keep them out of the public school system; but finances and frazzling of my brain redirected our convictions when private school and home school were erased from our "options" list for this school  year.
God has bigger plans than ours.  And that's just how it works.  One day- I hope- I'll bring them back into our safe little nest, and I'll home school them sans frazzling and frying of my brain.  But? For now? I'm positively certain that they are exactly where the Lord would have them be.


We took a little over a year "off" from church.  Worst year of our life, to say the least.  Despite our decision to ALWAYS keep our kids in church- we were backed into a season of "anti-church" when we started seeing through a scratched up window; that window allowed us to peer into just how messed up church and the people that go there can be; ourselves were NOT excluded in the factor of 'messed up people in a messed up church', either.  We needed to step back; and it worked out for the greater growth of our spiritual lives that we did.  Realizing that nobody had anything together, and not putting any person on a pedastool, despite appearances of righteousness.... now we're looking through a pane-less window (or so it seems).

I WILL NOT.... unless I SHOULD

Conviction to keep our kids out of the public school system lead to many many long conversations defending our choice for educating our daughters.   It was a battle on top of a battle.  I second guessed myself more often than not; but stuck to it......... until the glorious day that God released us from it.  

Even after He released me to move into a new direction with school, I second guessed myself.   The Lord removed every option for education aside from public school.  He made it clear:
 "This is what you need to do right now."  I still doubted, and questioned, and schemed and planned to figure out a way to keep them out of public school.  "Maybe there's another way?  Surely there's something else we could do?"  I was tormented and pained when the day came that I registered our daughters for school.  I cried and cried and met frustration after frustration, but I did it anyway.
It wasn't until after registration, and after we met their teachers, that I found relief from the boulder that seemed to be weighing down my shoulders!

Convictions to keep our kids in church were layed aside when (I believe) God allowed us to be removed from that atmosphere to gain perspective.  He called us to go to church, and taught us why corporate worship was so very important; and then He removed us from church- and taught us why keeping our eyes on HIM, and only Him when we were in search of TRUTH is so important.
"Men will fail you.  But I will never leave you, or forsake you!"  (the Bible)

In conclusion to part 2, sticking to a conviction- whether it be challenging or not- should NOT be an option. 

Obedience brings more relief than continuing on with 'our own' plans. 
Obedience brings relief.  AFTERwards.  Obey first......  Relief later.  

  (Read 2 Kings 5:1-15)
*The king had leprosy, and was instructed by the prophet to receive his healing by dipping into the Jordan river 7 times.  
It wasn't the WATER that healed the king, it was his obedient act!*

God instills convictions inside our hearts for a purpose.  He's an all knowing God- and He'll speak to us and lay out a guideline for us to go by- if we'll listen to HIM.  He determined a path for us to take; but that doesn't mean that He will have us to stay on that exact path forever.  If we believe that He's the navigator, we should also understand that HE may tell us to do a turn here, or take a back road there.  He knows exactly what each path has in store for us, and HIS PLANS (paths) are much greater than our own!  

I'm thankful and humbled that He chooses to speak to us regarding our life walk.  
WE don't always listen, but He is, in fact- ALWAYS directing us.  

1 comment:

  1. Amber you so totaly rock , you are a great writer.