I love compliments. I love it when they come unexpected. I love it when they come at just the very perfect time to take an evening of 'blah' and turn it into "yipee!!".
I got one such compliment this evening. And I was all mopey and icky and frowny-faced seconds before reading an email that complimented me in an area of my 'hobby' - this particular hobby isn't very close to awesome. It's just something I was 'doing'.
You know what I'm talking about?
I wasn't trying to make it awesome. I was just 'doing it'- cause it's 'what I do'.
Writing. It's my journal in technological coloring. That's all. I write what I'm thinking- how I'm feeling- what I've been doing and how I've been doing it. Nothing more. I don't have an awesome story to tell, and I don't have any kind of information to offer. It's just me- being me. And I write about it. And it's what I do. I enjoy the time I get to type out my messy thoughts.
I am pretty sure God gave me the ability to write/express myself in the written form for this reason:
Lord help us ALL if I didn't have a non-verbal outlet!!!
I have to express myself!!! IT's the thing that gets me in trouble the very most. "Expression!" It's my good quality and my super awful quality... all-in-one. (yay me!)
I got whippins and beatins and smack-downs growing up from 'Expressing Myself'. My mom hated it!!! My face felt how much she hated it, too. I can't say that I blame her (completely). I am super-awesome at expressing myself- and I was expressing to her how much she sucked as a mom. (teenagers- Psh!!)
And I've mostly been able to express myself in a non-violent, somewhat unoffensive way through writing. It just comes out way better (mucy prettier) on paper (or on screen) than it does from my mouth. Is it my tone? My body language? My facial movements? Is that why it comes out all wrong when I say it? I'll check answer (d).... All of the above. Final answer Regis.
On paper? On screen? I have no worries. It just comes out.... the way I mean for it to.
And when I get complimented on that ability- and it's a sweet compliment- I get super-happy. I love writing. I love expressing myself freely with out fear of it coming out like a big pile of barf. I love it. And I love so much that in reality- when I get complimented- it's somebody saying "God totally hooked you up. He loves you. He gave you a gift- and He's letting you use it."
10 months ago