Baggage

Glancing at my reflection in the French Doors leading out to our back patio, and even in the darkness I'm noticing the dark circles under my eyes.  Eye Baggage.

And I suppose that's not all the baggage I'm toting around.

Stress has loaded itself onto my back, demanding that I ignore my (obvious) need for sleep.  

We've got a few ridiculous annoyances backing us up into a corner- but those are "deal-able" (I guess?)

More frustrating and eye baggage creating- something that's not as deal-able.  Me.

So? In the past several months- I've had obvious and crazed health issues.
Gallbladder put me out of commission and in the E.R.
Bladder- not the galling one- the other one- put me in an ambulance and the E.R. and thousands of (more) dollars in debt.

Most recently- my "female" issues have been obscenely painful and harsh.
On the couch. Doubled over. Somebody-give-me-some-MORPHINE- harsh.

The other day I noticed some odd symptoms that were more intense than normal.
We're talking nausea, and all that jazz.

I take a pregger test in the morning, and it said "Positive".
The next test says "faintly positive"
And then the next says "totally negative".

And then a few days after- I get my period.

What.. Is. GOING. On?!?!?!

I dunno.  It's crazy.  I'm confused.

No human being should be in THIS much pain.  It's MORE than pain.  It's crazy discomfort emotional harshness mixed in with HOLYcrap this so freaking HURTS.

I hate it.  It bums me out.  And DANG IT.  I'm so stupid sick of being sick.