Don't Got No Time for That

It's a double negative.  I know.  It's improper and it's an inappropriate way to speak.

Whatever.

I don't got no time to worry about all that........

I recently spoke to a someone that didn't know me very well.  The person was doing a sort of "evaluation" with me, and I didn't want him to think he needed to pour out a few eggshells to walk on during the discussion.  I stopped him and said:

"Just know.... there is nothing that you should feel the need to sugar coat.  I am perfectly fine, actually- I prefer, Blunt Honesty.  Ok.... Go ahead.... I just wanted to make sure you knew that...."

He was appreciative for the clarification, though he admitted- (in a super eloquent way) that he didn't need my permission to be honest and straight forward.  He'd be bold either way.  In that- an immediate respect formed for this person.

Honesty.  Whether you like it or not.....

What is there NOT to respect about that??

A latter conversation with the other person that was in the room led me to realize why it is that

 "I don't got no time for all that sugar-coated-beat-bushing nonsense".  

She said to me: "It's cause your a busy MOM! You want to get to the point and move on."

Ahhhh.  What a profound perspective.  

And this leads me to the point of this blog.

I don't have time to make my life look perfectly sweet. I don't have time to think carefully and studiously as I write (though there are times I do).  I write.  I type.  I pour my (true)self onto these blog pages.
I write for myself.  It's therapy.  I paint pictures of the reality that is "my life".

I'm writing all of this out for the part of me that feels "inferior" when  I read bloggers post about the

        

SWEET- FUN-AMAZING- CREATIVE 

(seemingly PERFECT)                                                                                                                                

lives they live.

For the part of me that feels a little like:

Brittany Spears with a Shaved Head when she Went Way off the Deep End 

when I compare myself to 

the Sunshiney Oh Happy Day Life is Perfectly Perfect

Blog. Mom. World.

I compare myself when I'm reading the dashboard post.  

Wait? I don't know how to make my blogger page pretty......

Wait? I need to invest in a way-out-of-my-price-range camera so I can put pretty pictures up

Wait? Why don't I think of creative fun things to do with my kids......

And on, and on, and on..........

So. Tired. Of. Comparing. Myself.

I'm me.  I can't and won't conform.  It's a totally foreign concept to the person God made me.  

The person God made  me   laughs at  the person I sometimes think I'm s'pose to be: 

Conform?  What? No.......  Seriously.... Wait? Are you really asking me that? 

To change WHO I am and WHAT I do, and HOW I live.... 

Just. To. Please. Your. Inner. Self. Consciousness?

 Bahhhhh HAhhhhh Hah!!!  Ya. Right.  

I DON'T GOT NO TIME FOR THAT.